We have all seen the rom-coms and chick-flicks filled with sobbing girls glued to their sofas, scoffing ice cream whilst listening to their ex-lover's answer machine. Though not everyone is as melodramatic as Bridget Jones, I'm sure at some point or another, we have all found ourselves struggling through a break up – as they're especially common at university.
When many adolescent students are thrown into such close proximity, it is no surprise that relationships quickly blossom, bend and sometimes break. When they do, it can bring out emotions you didn't even know existed. It may feel like the end of the world, or you may experience a confusing mix of guilt, loneliness and sadness – or maybe you’re one of the lucky few who feel completely fine! No matter how you feel, know that every feeling is valid.
Just as there is no one way of feeling after a break up, there is also no one way of dealing with it. Taking time and space, and suspending contact with your ex to focus on yourself, is truly beneficial. Reconfiguring your life without your significant other can be really tough to do, but with the support of friends and family, you soon find your feet.
All this spare time may seem daunting at first, but try not to view it as an absence of something or someone – view it as an opportunity. You now have time to revisit that old hobby you have neglected or, better still, to join that society you’ve been thinking about. Keeping yourself busy can be the best way to distract from your feelings. Making a fresh start can also be the best way to heal and begin the next chapter of your life.
Another great benefit of the free time is that you can focus completely on your friendships. During break ups, your friends can be the biggest support. Whether you need a shoulder to cry on, a person to vent to, or a partner for a night out, a good friend will be there. Talking and explaining how you feel may sound soppy, but it can also be very therapeutic – plus, you will probably find that others can empathise and offer advice.
Though it may not always feel like it, university is one of the best places to be when going through a break up. There are so many opportunities to discover something new, so many people to connect with and tonnes of activities to keep you occupied. As cheesy as it sounds, the best outlook is always a forward facing one; instead of focusing on the past, look to the future and get excited for the many opportunities ahead of you. With time, you will grow out of the pain and be a better person for it.
Edited by Pia Cooper
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